Relationship check-in questions: the 10-minute weekly ritual

Most relationship problems don't arrive as explosions — they arrive as drift. A weekly check-in catches drift while it's still small. Ten minutes, four questions, once a week.

The four questions

1. How connected do you feel? (1–10)
2. How supported do you feel? (1–10)
3. How loved do you feel? (1–10)
4. How heard do you feel? (1–10)

How to run it

• Both answer privately first, then share numbers.
• Don't debate the numbers — they're feelings, not facts.
• For any score under 7, ask: "What would move it one point higher this week?" That's it. One point, one week.

When scores dip

A dip isn't a crisis — it's information. The worst response is to argue the score; the best is a follow-up conversation about what's underneath it. Pick one gentle question (see our deep questions guide) and listen without defending.

Why weekly matters

Monthly is too far apart to catch patterns; daily becomes noise. Weekly is the rhythm that shows trends while they're still easy to talk about.